BLOG BITES – 28th FEBUARY 2020 – BLOG #61

I am not impressed but regularly underwhelmed by modern day research and statistics. It is an art to use them to say what you want people to hear. One thousand people out of millions saying so doesn’t prove a point. Yes, there has been an increase in male suicide – I am told. I wonder and feel that there are too many people, apps, adverts, books telling me what sort of man I should be. The underlying message is always I am not good enough. I am missing something. I am doing something wrong = pressure = self-destruct.

Now I have to be that type of man to be with and for you.
When I am not – then you can literally, figuratively, actually push me a side. When I am not that man = pressure = self-destruct. And it is my fault for being too strong and manly. Or not? Why do you move the finishing line when I am there?
Articles, books, discussion programmes led by experts. Experts, so they must be right. All living a life that does not touch the outskirts of many peoples’ realities. I was not feeling suicidal until hearing them talk – I am now.
I am a bad man for not talking about it. Therefore, I am weak. Rubbish! Get yourself a new narrative.
An exciting part of my journey was discovering – I am who I am meant to be but also accepting, loving and enjoying that person. And then doing so without the need for YOU to tell me it’s o.k.
I know and believe that I am strong – I am able to find, my way forward without spilling it all to you. That makes me strong and that is good. If it makes you feel weak. Scared. Unwanted. Redundant. Then deal with it – deal with you. Strengthen you by standing up. Not by pulling me down. A suicidal thought and an action are related but not the same thing. It is o.k. to think it. Feel it. Engage with it. Then move on. The thought does not always lead to the action. But YOU keep telling me what sort of man I should be. In order to be YOUR man. I refuse!
I am not living the life you tell me to in an explicit or implicit way. When that scares you – be strong by reflecting on you. Not by trying to make me weak. And I will not allow you to make me so.
Allow yourself to define yourself. You are enough and build on that. You are not an empty cup but full of knowledge, experiences, ideas, dreams, creativity, energy, hope’s, aspirations and much more. Write your own self-help book and that’s £8.99 saved.

That is a lot of dark chocolate you can buy.


I Know where I am going and I know the truth,
And I don’t have to be what you want me to be. I’m free to be what I want.
(Muhammad Ali – Jan 1942 – June 2016)

Keith Stewart – from Sheffield, South Yorkshire, England. A qualified TEFL teacher, Murder She Wrote and Colombo aficionado. A Spanish music and Motown fan. Happily teaching TEFL from Brazil.
28th FEBUARY 2020 – BLOG #61
Only to be used with permission or attribution.